There's a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table.
Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion.
When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities.
There are three basic ways we connect with another person: Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide.
" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person? We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way?