In online forums and gaming – where many people meet their partners – how we express ourselves and our personality acts as the initial attractors.
Similarly, we try to divine as much of that information as possible from the dating profile photo and username even before we start in on the dating profile.
We can get as righteous as we’d like about “getting to know somebody’s soul” or the purity of meeting people without our hangups about looks, but without that physical component, it’s impossible to guarantee that you’re going to be attracted to somebody in person.
This is why so many people get first dates that go nowhere; you may have had great intellectual or , it just wasn’t going to work. And that’s where the benefit of the numbers game comes in.
We often carry this mindset over into online dating and start to give one person – usually the first one to respond – all of our attention, ignoring everybody else until that first conversation has run it’s course.
This is a mistake – and one that makes online dating considerably more inefficient and tedious. Some of the oldest and most boring cliches of online dating are the people who just say that they’re some attractive quality… Saying that you’re funny or spontaneous or romantic is the dating site equivalent of “I listen to a little bit of everything except country and rap.” It’s so generic as to mean nothing.
” Remember what I said earlier about how we mentally filter people into “attractive” and “not attractive” when we meet them in person?