She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.“Hoovering” is the term used to describe a narcissist trying to re-connect with you after a time of separation.
The horrible thing about the cycle of violence is that the abuse intensifies and the cycle becomes tighter and tighter and more frequent.
You see, abusers who are narcissist don’t learn by their mistakes.
It’s also “normal” when not receiving a genuine “sorry” to be incensed, fight for accountability, and / or try to force this person into being the person you thought you had signed up for (if a love-partner), or be the family member / parent they by normal humane standards. There is a period of CALM, then TENSION builds, then ABUSE happens, and then RECONCILIATION takes place …
However any attention at all, or the granting of any second, third and multiple chances is only handing the narcissist further narcissistic supply – the narcissistic drug: “The ability to affect another person and get their energy grants me significance.” Hoovering plays a HUGE role in the cycle of violence. then this is followed by a period of CALM and the cycle continues all over again.
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